Secrets at Seaside Read online

  “Jenna,” Amy whispered.

  Jenna didn’t budge. Joey lifted her fuzzy head.

  “Jenna,” she whispered louder. Joey yawned, put her head back down, and closed her eyes.

  “Amy.”

  Startled, Amy squealed. Bella covered Amy’s mouth and they dropped to the deck like lead.

  “Shut up.” Bella was also wearing a towel and she’d remembered her flip-flops. Her tangled and messy hair had that mattress-romp look.

  Had everyone but Amy had sex tonight? She sighed and pushed Bella’s hand from her mouth.

  “You scared the life out of me.”

  “I was coming to get you,” Bella whispered. “I thought you could use some cheering up.”

  “Yeah, well, great minds think alike.”

  They got up on their knees and peered into the bedroom. Jenna and Pete were still zonked.

  “They both sleep like logs.” Bella put her mouth up to the screen and whispered loudly, “Jenna.”

  Jenna lifted her head and blinked several times. A smile formed quickly as she slid from the bed and ran naked to the window. “Chunky-dunking?”

  “Heck yeah, and don’t wake Pete. We’ll go get Leanna.” Bella took Amy’s hand and dragged her off the deck and across the grass.

  “Ouch. Slow down. I don’t have my flip-flops.” Amy clung to Bella’s arm as Jenna darted off her deck and across the quad with a towel clutched to her chest.

  “It’s gonna be a chipples night,” Jenna whispered.

  “It’s always a chipples night with you around,” Amy teased. “Put your towel on. Jeez, Jenna. And how can you sleep naked like that with your windows wide open?”

  Jenna rolled her eyes and wrapped her towel around her body, tucking the top securely. “Happy?”

  “Not really, but happy about your towel, yes.”

  “Shh.” Bella glared at them as they approached Leanna’s window. Bella was the tallest of the group, towering over Jenna’s four-foot-eleven stature and a couple of inches taller than Amy at five four. She peeked into the window, then crouched with her back against the house. “She’s not in there.”

  “What?” Jenna stood and started jumping up to try to see in the window. Bella yanked her back down, and she fell across Bella’s lap, laughing. Bella slapped her hand over Jenna’s mouth.

  “Shh. Do you think I’m blind?” Bella hissed.

  “No, but sometimes I wish you were mute,” Leanna said as she came around the corner of the house. “Get away from the window before Pepper hears you.” She motioned them over to the road. “I heard you guys before you even reached the windows, chipples crew.”

  Jenna covered her mouth and laughed.

  Arm in arm, they walked down to the pool at a snail’s pace, thanks to Amy’s bare feet. Leanna was the only one who’d remembered to bring her pool key.

  “What would you do without me?” Leanna teased as she unlocked the gate.

  “We’d probably get more sleep.” Jenna crossed her arms over her chest and puckered her lips. “Oh, Kurt. Yes, more, baby, please…”

  Leanna swatted her arm. “Shut up before you wake up Theresa, and get in the pool.” Theresa Ottoline was another resident at Seaside. She was also the property manager, and she was a stickler for the rules. Swimming was prohibited after eight o’clock at night, but that never stopped the girls from indulging in their favorite rule-breaking activity.

  Chunky-dunking was a ritual that hadn’t changed much over the years. It usually involved wine or cookie dough, but Amy had been too distraught over Tony to think of anything other than being with the girls and washing away the hurt of rejection.

  “Theresa’s not here. She had to go back home, but she said she’d be back in a few days,” Leanna explained as Jenna went running by buck naked. Jenna always dropped her towel by the gate, then ran to the far end of the pool to use the stairs. She’d done it for years, and why she dropped her towel so far away when everyone else wore theirs to the far side of the pool was a mystery. Then again, much of what their obsessive-compulsive friend did was a mystery, like collecting rocks and organizing every little thing she could get her hands on.

  The girls descended the stairs and dunked under to their shoulders. Amy missed Jessica and the way she always said, Cold, cold, cold, when she dunked under the water. She hoped she and Jamie were having a wonderful honeymoon, and knew that it wouldn’t matter where they were, as long as they were together. They would be happy in a cardboard box if they had each other.

  I’d be happy with Tony in a cardboard box. Naked.

  Stop…

  “This is freaking cold.” Bella reached for the foam noodles and tossed one to each of the girls. They’d all forgotten to pin up their hair, and each had a halo of tendrils floating around them.

  Amy’s teeth chattered. “I need the cold. I need to freeze thoughts of Tony out of me.” Amy kicked her feet to keep warm as they drifted toward the deep end of the pool.

  “Don’t give up on him, Ames.” Leanna swam over to her.

  “Yeah. He looked like a caged tiger tonight before he finally put his arm around you,” Bella added.

  “Um, yeah, right. He as much as told me to give up on him, and he only held me because I was cold.” Amy sidestroked away from the group, needing a moment to breathe. She hadn’t counted on them urging her to try again.

  “Because he cares,” Jenna added. “If he didn’t care, he’d have let you freeze.”

  “Kinda like we are right now.” Leanna laughed. “This would have been easier if we were drunk. Hey, are we having breakfast tomorrow?”

  “Of course. I’ll bring the coffee,” Jenna offered.

  “Muffins from me. Bella’s house?” Leanna asked.

  “Sure.” Bella swam over to Amy. “How can we help, Amy? Want me to beat the stuffing out of him?”

  “No one can beat the stuffing out of Tony. He’s…” Amy mulled over her answer. Hot, strong, sexy, frustrating, and totally not in love with me. “Total alpha.” Just not my alpha. She swallowed the sadness before it could swallow her.

  Jenna let go of her noodle and hung on to Leanna’s with her. They kicked across the pool and joined Amy and Bella.

  “He’s not a total alpha,” Jenna said. “I think only a beta would turn down sex with you.”

  Amy rolled her eyes.

  “What?” Jenna grabbed Amy’s orange foam noodle and hung on to it beside her.

  “He’s totally not a beta. He’s just being thoughtful.” Too darn thoughtful. “He was doing the right thing. I’m so sick of doing the right thing.” As the words left her lips, they tasted acidic and wrong. She knew all too well what doing the wrong thing could lead to.

  Leanna and Bella positioned themselves in front of Amy and Jenna and held on to their noodles.

  “So this is it? You’re giving up on him?” Bella asked. “Because I’m on the fence. Well, on the noodle really.” She chuckled.

  “I don’t think I can ever give up on him, but I want more. I’m ready for real, reciprocated love. A real relationship. I am ready for what each of you have. I don’t know if I can ever open myself up to any other man, but I have to try.” Amy gazed up at Tony’s cottage. She’d spent countless hours on his deck, in his kitchen, sitting on his couch. Mooning over him. She thought of the way he protected her, how he looked at her when the others were talking and something secret and silent passed between them, like they could read each other’s thoughts. Like when any of the girls were so into snuggling with their guys that Amy wanted to turn away, and Tony caught her eye and flashed that smile that said, She’s your friend. Smile and suck it up.

  Only that wasn’t what Amy had hoped to see. She wanted to see the devilish grin that was dark and naughty. The one that she’d dreamed of that said, Come here, baby. Let’s show them how it’s done.

  TONY HAD NEVER felt like a stalker before. Not in all the years he’d watched over Amy to ensure she got back to her cottage safely after she was out late. Granted, he’d n
ever waited beside her deck, lurking in the darkness before tonight either. He wasn’t actually lurking. He was waiting beneath the tree beside her deck so the others didn’t see him. He’d heard them go down to the pool. Heck, who hadn’t? They laughed like schoolgirls when they were together. It was one of the things he loved about all of his friends at Seaside. The camaraderie of the group and friendship they could all count on. He couldn’t even blame Bella for coming after him like she had at the beach.

  Amy and the girls walked up the hill practically on top of one another, clutching their towels and whispering, then bursting out in bouts of laughter. Amy looked adorable with the ends of her hair wet, sticking to her lean shoulders, but even from the short distance away he heard a difference in Amy’s laugh. It wasn’t the carefree laugh he’d come to love. It was laden with emptiness or sadness. Loneliness, maybe? He felt all of those things, but she seemed to be detaching herself quite easily from him, which was why he was there. Waiting. Hoping to explain where he was coming from so they could…What? Go back to the way they were? Yeah, well, that would be a start. He wasn’t certain exactly where tonight would take them, but he was determined to find out, and the missing spark in her laughter made him want to take an even closer look.

  “See you guys for breakfast.” Amy’s sweet voice carried in the night air.

  Tony waited until the others had gone inside before stepping out of the shadows. He hated that they didn’t wait for her to reach her deck before heading in themselves, even though he knew Seaside was safe. He was wearing his favorite jeans, worn thin on the thighs and threadbare on the bottoms, a black shirt, and a pair of Corona flip-flops. He was probably near invisible in the dark.

  Amy was humming a little tune as she approached her deck.

  “Amy.”

  Startled, she stumbled backward, her eyes wide and fearful.

  “It’s okay. It’s only me.” He slid an arm over her bare, chilly shoulder and out of habit drew her trembling body against his chest.

  “You scared me.” She clutched his shirt, then flattened her hand and stroked his ribs. He’d forgotten he’d worn her favorite T-shirt. She loved its softness, and seemed to cuddle up against it every time he wore it.

  Okay, so maybe he hadn’t forgotten.

  “I’m sorry. I just wanted to talk.” He lowered his hand to her hip and led her up the stairs of the deck. “Come on. Let’s get you warm first.” He followed her inside and almost immediately felt the tension in his shoulders ease. He was surrounded by her essence. Her simple, feminine touch was everywhere. In the pale blue walls and cream-colored sofa with white and pink accent pillows and the light wooden floors with shaggy throw rugs overtop. Even the photos of the Seaside gang mixed in with beachy, textured artwork felt very Amy.

  Amy sat on the couch, shivering, and Tony settled in beside her.

  “Don’t you want to get dressed?”

  “Yeah, but…” Her teeth chattered, and she lowered her voice. “Why are you here?”

  He rose to his feet. “Let me get you a sweatshirt; then we’ll talk.”

  She took his hand and pulled him back down to the couch. “Tony, please.” Her whisper wasn’t seductive. It was something between anxious and put out. The way she gently held his hand and the trusting look in her eyes coalesced with the gravity of the years they’d been friends, and it brought him back to the couch beside her.

  He cupped his hands around hers and brought them to his lips, then breathed warm air over her cold fingers. He scooted closer to her and drew her body against his, warming her as he stroked her back. He heard her uneven breathing caused by the cold, and he assumed—hoped?—by the heat between them that he couldn’t ignore. He held her until her trembling calmed. She felt so good, so right in his arms, and even covered in chlorine she smelled like Amy. He reluctantly drew away from her, and she shivered again.

  He knew he was sending her mixed signals, but he couldn’t stop himself from being close to her or taking care of her. He was drawn to her, and it was getting more difficult by the second to maintain his distance. He pushed from the couch. “At least let me get you a blanket.”

  She shook her head and pulled him down beside her again. She could be so sweetly stubborn. He reached behind him and tugged his shirt over his head, then pulled it gently over hers and lifted her arms through the sleeves. The shirt billowed over her petite frame. The sleeves hung to her elbows. He settled it around her body, then loosened her towel beneath, careful to keep her covered but wanting to get the wet towel away from her skin. She gazed up, and her eyes stilled on his bare chest. Tony knew how other women reacted to his muscular physique, but all he cared about was how Amy reacted to him. Her breathing quickened, and she dropped her eyes, nibbling on her lower lip. At least he still had some effect on her. All hope wasn’t lost. He wasn’t even sure exactly what he was hoping for, but he knew he didn’t want Amy to stop being part of his life.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “Amy…” He touched his forehead to hers and breathed her in. “This is so hard.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  He reluctantly sat back and moved his arm to the back of the couch, giving her space, hoping she wouldn’t send him away before they had a chance to talk.

  “How did you know I’d go swimming tonight?” She fiddled with the edge of his T-shirt, her eyes still not venturing to his.

  He sighed. It was time for complete honesty, no matter what the cost. “I always know.”

  That brought her eyes to his. She shook her head, and confusion wrinkled her brow. A strand of wet hair stuck to her cheek, and he carefully moved it away with his index finger.

  “I have always known, Amy. I wait up and watch you walk home, just to be sure you don’t fall or run into trouble.”

  “You watch? Like…” Her cheeks bloomed with embarrassment.

  “No, babe. I don’t watch you down at the pool. Just up here, to make sure you get home okay after the others have gone inside.” Not that he wouldn’t love to see her skinny-dip. He’d like nothing more than to skinny-dip with her, to feel her gentle curves sliding against him.

  “How long?”

  Tony tried to blink away his lascivious thoughts. “Um…” Nine inches? Typical guy thoughts and responses came easily to him. Denial. Protective mode. Those came reflexively. It was the other stuff, the stuff from the heart that didn’t come as easily.

  “How long have you watched me?”

  “I don’t know,” he lied. He knew exactly how long. Since the first time he caught wind that they’d been skinny-dipping, when they were teenagers. He wanted to be honest with her. “Forever, I guess.”

  She nodded, and her eyes grew serious as they dropped to his chest again. “You have a new scar.”

  He glanced down at the thin white scar that snaked along his left pectoral muscle. “Yeah. Rough ride in the spring. I texted you about it. Cane Garden Bay, remember? In the Caribbean.”

  She held her finger an inch from his chest, her eyes trained on his, as if she were waiting for him to stop her. When he didn’t, she ran her finger over the scar. “I remember.”

  He felt himself getting aroused and laced his fingers with hers to keep from losing his mind. The cottage was quiet, save for the sounds of the leaves rustling in the wind through the back window screen. He wanted to pull her against him and close his eyes, drift away to sleep with her warm and safe against him. He wished that she’d somehow inherently know what he was there to say. But as he looked at her expectant, trusting eyes, he knew it was time to tell her the truth. It was time to tell her all the things she’d never let him say fourteen years ago.

  “Amy, I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  Her eyes dropped to her lap, and he drew her chin up so he could see them again.

  “Tony, please. You did me a favor. My feelings for you were holding me back, and now…” She shrugged, but she didn’t look thankful.

  Thank heaven for that.

  “It’s okay
that I’m not your type, Tony. I get it. I’m—”

  “Not my…” His breathing quickened. “Amy, you are one hundred percent my type. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see how hard this is for me?” He didn’t mean to raise his voice, and when he saw her shaking her head and withdrawing from him, he was sure he’d blown it.

  “Stop.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Just…stop.”

  “No, Amy. I won’t stop. You need to know how I feel. How I really feel. How I’ve felt for years.”

  She looked away, and he got up and paced, too frustrated to sit any longer. “Don’t you see? You’re Amy Maples. You’re sweet and good and all things tender wrapped up in this beautiful person. You’re generous and giving, and—”

  Amy pushed to her feet. The towel fell to the floor, and gravity sent his T-shirt down to her upper thighs. “And not your type.” She crossed her arms and the shirt inched up higher.

  Tony forced himself to look into her hurt-filled eyes.

  “That’s not true. I said that because I’m not the man you need, Amy, not because I don’t want you.” He closed the distance between them and couldn’t help touching her arms. Everything felt different, more intense, more important and urgent. He knew he’d been fooling himself by thinking that after knowing she might be gone forever he wouldn’t do everything he could to keep her with him. Her lower lip was trembling, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t from the cold, because he could feel heat coming off of her, drawing them together until their thighs collided. It was all he could do to remain focused on making her understand where he was coming from. But he had to. It was now or never. He couldn’t let her drift further away.