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Unraveling the Truth About Love (Sweet with Heat Page 11
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“Ri, I’m not really like any of my brothers. I’ve been thinking a lot about Treat, and I’m probably more like Treat than Rex, but I know myself, and I could never give up my career the way he did for Max, no matter how much I loved the person. I enjoy what I do too much, and I know that sounds self-centered. When you fall in love, you’re supposed to be willing to give up everything for the other person. I’m just being honest with you.”
Riley sat up straighter. “Why would you even think to say that? I’d never want you to give up your career, any more than I’d expect you to want me to give up mine.”
He’d expected her response, which opened the door for him to continue. He knew what he was saying was true, and Riley deserved to know it, too.
“Look at Rex and Jade. They weren’t able to keep their relationship a secret for very long, and I just want to be sure you know what you’re getting into if you get involved with me,” he explained.
“If I get involved with you?”
“You know what I mean. Involved for the long term.” The conversation was becoming too heavy, and there was much more to say and much more he wanted to know about Riley. He took a deep breath and said, “I just want you to know where I stand. I’m not trying to scare you off, Riley. That’s the last thing I want. You deserve to know.”
Riley looked away, and tension filled the silence.
“Do you want to walk a bit?” Josh offered.
They threw away the remains of their subs and he reached for her hand. Holding in his thoughts was making Josh’s stomach ache. He needed to get the rest of what he had to say out in the open. Now. “I need to tell you something,” he said.
“Sounds serious.”
“I’m an honest guy. I just don’t know how to be any other way, not with the people I care about. And I want to be honest with you.” He stopped walking and placed his hands gently on her arms. “There was an incident with Claudia tonight.” He felt her stiffen beneath his touch. “She came into my office and made it very clear that she wanted to be with me. Sexually.”
He watched Riley swallow that chunky, awful pill.
“I made it clear to her that it would never happen, and I told her I was involved with someone. I didn’t tell her who, and I’d never do so without your consent, but I don’t want her pawing after me on any level. And I made it quite clear to her that she’s not to take my denial out on the office staff. There’s no way she didn’t understand what I said.”
Riley looked down, but not before Josh spotted the worried shadows within her eyes. “Josh, you don’t have—”
“Yes, I do. I don’t know where you and I are headed, but I want to go wherever it is for however long it lasts, and we can’t do that if Claudia is always undermining our relationship. I never want you to worry, especially about her.” Josh felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. That was only the first step in a long line of things that would need to happen to clear the way for them to have a relationship, but it was a start.
“Thank you for that,” Riley said.
They walked in silence, and as Josh opened his mouth to break it, Riley beat him to it.
“I can’t blame her, really. I mean you are charming, even if a little too handsome.”
“Too handsome?” He grinned. He’d never met a woman who could take a threatening situation and turn it into a joke. “What does that even mean?”
“Oh please.” Riley laughed. “It’s like walking around with a Photoshopped model. I love it, but whew, I can’t take my eyes off of you, so how can I expect anyone else to?”
Josh shook his head. He knew that women found him attractive. He’d graced magazine covers and been told how handsome he was all of his life, but that didn’t mean Josh gave it any credence. Hearing it from Riley—that drove it home and meant more to him than any magazine cover ever would.
“I want you to know, to really understand and believe, that as long as we’re together, I’m fully committed. You’ll never have to worry about me straying with anyone else. Especially Claudia. There is something I need to ask you,” he said.
“Go ahead, but the answers are no, I won’t wear edible underwear, yes, I will make out in a movie theater, and…well…we’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.”
I’m the luckiest guy on the planet. “Really? No edible underwear?”
“Well, maybe you can convince me,” she teased.
“While I think about you in edible underwear, we probably need to come up with a backup plan in case—or for when—people find out about us. I’ve always thought of myself as a patient guy, but I’m not so sure I can publicly deny my feelings for you for very long, and I know it may mean trouble for you. Even if I do talk to Claudia, she’s just the tip of the iceberg. You probably will encounter gossip about sleeping with the boss, which hurts me to admit, but…So I think we should try to come up with a strategy for how we’ll handle things if and when people find out. A way that will protect you as best we can.”
Riley walked in front of him, then turned around and stopped, forcing him to stop walking, too. She stood on her tippy-toes and kissed him. “Can I just say that I love how you think about me? There aren’t many men who would worry about a woman’s feelings as much as you do, and there aren’t many men who would want to take steps to protect them in a situation like this. Thank you.”
He pulled her to him and dipped her over his arm, lowering his mouth to hers and kissing her like she was a movie star on a stage.
“I can’t stop myself from thinking about you,” he said as he brought her upright once again. “I am worried about you having to deal with gossip or whatever our relationship might stir up. The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable about us in public or at work.”
She put her head on his shoulder as they strolled by the water. “I don’t have an answer. Any way I look at it, it’s torturous. I guess I could quit working for you and try to get another job, but I know from experience that it won’t be in fashion design.”
He heard the regret in her voice. “That’s not even an option. Your design skills are superb. Maybe it was a mistake to have you learn the nitty-gritty of the business first. I should have brought you in as a designer.”
She squeezed his arm. “You think I’m that good?”
“I know you’re that good.”
“Then why couldn’t I get a job after college?”
“Probably because this business has more to do with who you know. There are hundreds of applicants for every position. Right out of school, probably none of the people reviewing your résumé even looked at your portfolio. I’m glad I did. You should have come to me years ago,” he said.
“You’re kidding, right? We avoided each other because of the family feud between your family and the Johnsons. Besides, I’d never dream of using our friendship like that,” she said.
He arched a brow at her.
“Rex brought it up, not me,” she explained.
Josh laughed. “I know that. I just love to see you get riled up. But I do wish you’d have come to me earlier. Think of all the time we’ve missed together.”
Riley stroked his arm.
Josh couldn’t stop wondering if they’d have an issue if Claudia didn’t exist. Would Simone or K.T. or any of the others feel like she slept her way to the top? The questions formed an endless circle in his mind.
“Well, like I said before, we should just keep things quiet,” Riley said. “Who knows? You might not even like me tomorrow.”
“You mention edible underwear and twenty minutes later you think I might not like you the next day? I am male. I’m still thinking about the edible underwear.”
“If you wear it, I’ll wear it,” she said.
“Now we’re talking.” He laughed, but he was still worried about what Treat had said. They did need a backup plan. At some point, something would come to light, whether by accident or on purpose, and they needed to be able to deal with it proactively, not reactively.
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“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked.
“Studying line sheets for the trade show.”
“How about taking a break for dinner with me, Treat, and Max at your place? A double date.” The thought of being together as a couple in front of his family was a big step for Josh, and he felt his chest swell with joy.
“Really? What are they doing here? I’d love to see them.”
“Treat’s here on business, and I’m designing Max’s wedding dress. It’ll be fun. We’ll bring in food from anywhere you want.” They left the park and headed back toward her apartment.
“I can cook, you know. My mama did teach me that,” Riley said.
“Mm. You can cook and you’re beautiful? I’m a lucky guy.” There were fewer people on the street, making their walk back much quicker than their walk to the park. Josh slowed his pace, wanting to savor the normalcy of the evening. Being with Riley in the park reminded him of his high school years, when he’d watch her in the schoolyard with Jade, or walking around town with her girlfriends. His body remembered those stolen glances, too, and the rush of adrenaline that soared through him returned. He smiled at the memory, and when he looked at Riley, a peaceful smile on her lips as they strolled hand in hand, he wanted her to know that his feelings for her had started well before a few weeks ago.
“Riley, I’ve never admitted this to anyone, but I had a pretty bad crush on you in school.”
“No way. I had a wicked crush on you, too, but you were a Braden boy and way out of my league.”
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard it my whole life. We’re just a family. We’re nothing special.” He’d always been proud of the Braden name, but he hadn’t been blind to their reputation. He and his siblings had been seen as the untouchable Bradens: too good-looking for just anyone to go out with and too wealthy to be treated like everyone else. It was the one aspect of being a Braden that had always bothered him. Luckily, as the years passed, people matured and some of that air had fallen way.
“You were the hottest guys in town, and Savannah? She was like a model even in grade school, with that gorgeous auburn hair and her extroverted personality. I swear, I was so jealous of her confidence.”
“I remember you being pretty darn confident and definitely gorgeous. You and Jade were always together, and we had to avoid Jade, so I could never approach you, but there were times that I’d see you and Jade hovering close together, laughing about something, or in town shopping, and I was so drawn to you. I remember just watching you, wishing I could gather the courage to talk to you. And, well, this is embarrassing, but I remember thinking about you way too much after I’d seen you.”
“Yeah?” she asked as they climbed the steps to her apartment.
“Oh yeah. Way too much.”
“Well, that feud took a toll on all of us. Jade was lusting after Rex and I was always thinking about you,” Riley said. “Gosh, I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to cross that invisible line just to hang out with you at the fall festival or after school when everyone was just hanging around.”
“I think it just makes things sweeter for us, having all that time to dwell on our private thoughts about each other.”
“Fantasies?” she teased.
“I’ll never tell.” At the top of the stairs, Josh took her hand and brought it to his lips. “Thank you for a wonderful evening, Ms. Banks.”
“Is this my kiss good night?” She draped her arms around his neck.
“I don’t want to push myself on you.” The lie turned his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to open the door and carry her into the bedroom and have his way with her, but he wanted—no, he needed—to give her time and space to think. They were moving fast, at least his heart was, and he wanted her to have time to process her feelings.
“Push. Please push.” She kissed him hungrily.
Who cares about thinking space?
Chapter Seventeen
THE NEXT MORNING, Riley jumped up at the vibration of her cell phone. She wasn’t surprised to see that Josh was gone, but she was surprised at how natural it seemed for him to have spent the night again and for her to know he’d be back shortly after his run.
“I’m sorry. I should have called you last night,” she said to Jade.
“Darn right you should have,” Jade said with a smile in her tone. “I hope you have a good reason not to have called.”
“Too good.” Riley got out of bed and threw on a T-shirt. She went to the kitchen, and when there was no note on the counter and Josh’s gym bag was gone from the couch, she felt a stroke of panic shoot through her. “We’re still not telling anyone about us,” she said, distracted as she headed for the bathroom.
“What are you doing? You’re breathing really hard,” Jade asked.
“Walking into the bathroom.” She flicked the bathroom light on and nearly dropped the phone when she saw, Back soon. Don’t shower without me. Xo, J, written in lipstick on the mirror, surrounded by a big red heart.
She breathed a sigh of relief.
“Hello?” Jade said.
“Sorry. I just woke up.”
“I hear you’re having company tonight. I wish I was gonna be there. It’s like we’re back in college again, in different states, catching up via phone all the time,” Jade said.
Riley missed seeing her best friend, but she wouldn’t trade a minute of her time with Josh for anything. Not even Jade. Josh. What was she going to do about him? He’d get sick of hiding out, and wouldn’t she, too? Didn’t she want a real relationship where they could be seen in public without wearing disguises?
“Hello?” Jade repeated.
“I’m sorry. I’m just distracted. I don’t know how you did this sneaking around stuff. I am always so worried. Even when I’m not thinking about it, I’m thinking about it.”
“I told you what to do. Just come clean and let Cruella deal with it,” Jade said.
“That’s easier said than done. She came on to Josh last night.”
“No!”
“Yes. He set her straight, but she’ll have a bigger reason to hate me when she finds out, and let’s be honest, it’s only been two days. Two days.”
“Who are you kidding? It’s been fifteen years and you know it. You dug him in school; you know you did,” Jade teased. “Don’t you believe for a second that while I was crushing on Rex I didn’t notice you lusting after his brother. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We both loved them from afar, and it was really hard.”
Riley had liked Josh back then, but she’d pushed him out of her mind through college, and even in the years that followed—until that night at the concert, when she’d felt the door to her heart crack open. Over the last two days, the power with which those bottled-up feelings she’d tried so desperately to ignore returned made her feel like a love-starved kid.
“Okay, fine, you’re right, but you know me, Jade. I’ve never fallen for a guy so hard that I want to be with him every second of the day, and certainly not after two days. Do you think it’s just the whole new city, hot guy thing?”
“Do you?”
Only Jade would push her to the wall. “Honestly? No. But doesn’t that make me one of those stupid girls who throws caution to the wind and gets swept away on the fallacy of love?”
“Hey, I take great offense to that,” Jade said.
“You know what I mean. You and Rex lusted after each other forever. I had a crush, and apparently Josh had a crush, but not like you two did. The way you two looked at each other for all those years? I swear you two burned a scorching path between you that everyone else could feel, even if you couldn’t act on it. You guys were on fire. What if his desire for me fades? How do you know when love is enough?”
“So the sex isn’t hot?”
“No, the sex is steamin’ hot. And it keeps getting hotter. But I don’t want to end up like my parents. I want heat forever. I wanna be chased around the living room when I’m fifty,
swatting at my horny husband.” Riley thought about the way Josh was an eager, pleasing lover and about how she came alive when she was with him in ways that she never had before. The fear of becoming like her parents must be clouding her thoughts. We’re just as hot as Rex and Jade.
“You can’t know, Ri. You’re asking for assurances that no one can give you. I know what you’re worried about. You don’t want to be like your parents. You’re afraid you guys will get too comfortable with each other. Even those couples that start out hotter than me and Rex sometimes end up with no spark at all, and then the ones who started out warm end up kinky and hot. You have to go with your gut. And we do control those things, you know.”
Riley was brushing her teeth, listening to Jade. She rinsed her mouth. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that when things cool off, we turn up the heat. Jeez, Ri, you’re the one who told me to go for it. Why are you worried? Maybe you don’t like him as much as you thought you did.”
“No, that’s not it.” She closed her eyes and let Jade in on her secret fears. “The problem is, I like him way more than I thought I did, and it’s scary. I think of him all the time. When he calls, my pulse races. When he kisses me… Oh, Jade, it’s so much more than toe-curling sex. We’re so comfortable when we’re together, even with the sneaking around. It’s like we’ve been together forever. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m so confused. And hiding it all at work just totally sucks.”
“It’s all good, except the hiding it thing. I wish you weren’t stuck with that. That’s really stressful.”
“I could quit and then there would be no issue.” Riley heard the regret in her own voice again, as she had the night before.
“You’re insane. He’d never want you to do that. This will work out. These things always do. Besides, he set Cruella straight. Maybe she’ll quit.”