The Art of Loving Lacy (Sweet with Heat Page 10

“What was that crap you pulled out there?” Dane asked.

  “Hey, you know what? You only go around once, and living safe did me no good.” Rob shrugged. “I needed a little adventure.” He slapped Dane on the back. “We had a good run.”

  “A good run, my butt. You’re worrying me, Rob. Wanna go grab a bite and talk for a bit?” Dane asked.

  “Nah. I’m tired. I’m hitting the shower, then calling it a night,” Rob said, waving to Tim.

  Rob’s trouble with Sheila and his behavior on the boat weighed heavily on Dane’s mind. He needed to get to the bottom of whatever was going on. He didn’t think Rob was drinking again, but he also had never seen Rob do anything that could jeopardize a mission—and today he was just plain careless.

  Dane grabbed Rob’s arm as he walked past. “Listen, I know you’re having trouble with Sheila, but you can’t pull that crap. You sure you don’t want to talk about this?”

  “I’m fine,” Rob said through gritted teeth. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Dane watched Rob walk away. There was no way he’d take Rob out on the boat tomorrow after what he pulled today. He’d give him time to cool off and talk to him about Sheila and deal with the rest of his mess later.

  “I gotta get showered and up to the airport in P-town,” Hugh said. “Smitty’s opening Treat’s cottage for me to get cleaned up before I leave town. I’m flying into Boston, then to Cali. I had a great time today. Thanks for letting me tag along.” He slung an arm over Dane’s shoulder.

  “I’m glad you came. What’s up with the shark research?” Dane asked. He was distracted by Rob’s behavior, and now that he was on dry land again, thoughts of Lacy stole his concentration, but he was curious about his brother’s recent metamorphosis.

  Hugh shrugged. “Just learning about all the crap my impressive older brothers do. I’ve been reading up on acquisitions, too. Treat got some big deals under his belt. What’s up with you staying on Treat’s boat tonight?”

  “It feels more like home,” Dane said. He withdrew his phone from his pocket and checked his messages. His gut clenched and he shoved the phone back in his pocket.

  “No message from Lacy?”

  “Nope.”

  “Drive me to Treat’s?” Hugh asked.

  “Absolutely.”

  They stopped at the Catch of the Day on the way and picked up crab cake sandwiches, then climbed back in the car and drove toward Treat’s bungalow on the bay.

  “Wanna talk about it?” Hugh asked.

  Dane looked at his brother, surprised again that he was reaching out. He saw genuine concern in Hugh’s eyes, then brought his own back to the road. “Not really,” he said.

  “Suit yourself, but I’m a good listener,” Hugh said. “And I know women.”

  Dane laughed.

  “Okay, so maybe I’m not a great listener, but I do know women.”

  “Listen, little brother, so do I, okay? I know women; that’s the problem,” Dane said.

  Hugh furrowed his brow. “So…she’s upset because you sleep with too many women?”

  Dane shot him a stern look. “I don’t have a clue.”

  “Then you don’t know women,” Hugh said. He reclined his seat and sighed. “If you were me, you’d know exactly what was wrong. Could it have anything to do with her panic attack?”

  “Hugh, I don’t freaking know.” Dane did not want to talk about Lacy. At best, it would make him angry. At the least, it would irritate him. There was no answer. He’d spent all those months living in denial about why he wasn’t hightailing it to Massachusetts to see her, and by the time he realized why, it was too late.

  “What? I’m trying to help. You’re a big-time shark tagger, but you can’t talk about some hot babe?” Hugh asked.

  Dane veered over to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes. “Listen, she’s not just some hot babe, and I don’t know what’s going on, okay? All I know is that when I was with her, I didn’t want to let her go. And that’s the first time I’ve ever felt that.” His nostrils flared. He breathed in fast, hard bursts. “Darn it, Hugh. She wasn’t just some roll in the hay.”

  Hugh brought his seat upright. “Chill, dude. That’s not what I meant at all.”

  “Know why I didn’t see her for all that time? I was stupid and afraid, okay? I never spend ten minutes getting to know a woman. Never. I hook up with women, pretend to listen to them for a few minutes, and the whole time all I’m thinking about is what their breasts will feel like, or how I just wanna get them in bed. But with Lacy, I spent every second I wasn’t with her just thinking about her. I wondered what she was doing, who she was with.” Dane slammed his back against the seat and let out a groan. “I cared about her before I ever touched her. And then we come here and she’s more than I ever dreamed of.”

  “Dane,” Hugh said.

  “And then she has that stupid panic attack, which sends her into some weird I-can’t-be-with-you state,” Dane yelled. His chest constricted as he explained how far he’d gone trying to reach her. “I’ve spoken to Danica and Kaylie. I even asked Blake to try to convince Danica to convince Lacy to talk to me. She won’t answer my texts or my calls.” Tears of anger burned at the back of his eyes, and he turned away so Hugh wouldn’t see them.

  “Dane,” Hugh said again.

  “And then she ends it. Just ends it. She says while I was out sleeping with every girl that walks, she was waiting at home for me to show up on her doorstep. I killed it before we ever got started.”

  “Dane!” Hugh held his hands up in the air to get Dane’s attention.

  Dane shook the fury from his head. “What?”

  “Do you want to be with her?”

  “What kind of stupid question is that?” Dane asked.

  “Do you?”

  “Yes. I do, yes. More than you could know,” Dane said. He scrubbed his face with his hand and groaned again.

  “If she were a shark, what would you do?” Hugh asked.

  “Whatever it took. I’d reel it in for days, weeks. Then I’d wrestle the thing to the ground.”

  “You really are messed up,” Hugh said.

  “You know what I mean. I wouldn’t give up. Lacy’s not a shark. She’s a woman. A bright, warm, charming, gorgeous, sexy woman who’s not here and won’t take the chum,” Dane said. He pulled the car back onto the road.

  “Sounds simple to me,” Hugh said. “Didn’t she say she worked at World Geographic? As a marketing rep or something?”

  “Account manager,” Dane corrected him.

  “You own a foundation. Don’t you need some sort of marketing program?” Hugh asked.

  “No.” Marketing program?

  “You sure? I think you might,” Hugh said with a coy smile.

  “Marketing—” Dane smiled, then frowned. “Hire her? She’d never take the job.”

  “No. Hire the company. You’re Dane Braden. You’ve got a reputation in oceanic research and a valuable company. Hire the company and stipulate that she takes the account. Seems simple to me,” Hugh said.

  “Simple? Then what? I go to her office and stare at the walls?” Dane asked.

  “You’re not this simple, Dane. Think.”

  Dane let out a loud breath. Hire her company. Then what?

  “Dane, come on. She’s afraid of sharks. You can help her with that. She can help you with marketing. Maybe your new account executive needs to come on a tagging mission with you for a week. Maybe she needs to immerse herself in your work to understand the project.”

  Dane pulled into Treat’s driveway, shaking his head. “Far-fetched.”

  “When has that ever stopped you from doing anything in your life?” Hugh asked. “Come in, shower, clean up, and then decide.”

  “It’s insane,” Dane said.

  “So is diving with sharks.”

  TWENTY MINUTES LATER, Dane called and arranged an extension to the tagging mission. He’d need more time if he was going to follow through with his intentions. Then he called Rob
and left a message. “Rob, take the next two days off. Rest up, and we’ll pick this up on Wednesday. I have to head out of town for a day. If you want to talk about Sheila, call me. I’ll keep my phone on and, buddy, after what you did today, I’m a little worried.”

  Dane called Danica and asked her to guide him through how to help Lacy with her phobia. He didn’t tell her what he had planned, and it took some finagling, a good amount of begging, and assurances about his intentions toward Lacy, but forty minutes later he was armed with information on desensitization techniques and in vivo exposure for galeophobia. Dane was ready to help Lacy through her fear of sharks. He had one more phone call to make, and as he called 411, he knew he had made the right decision.

  “The offices of World Geographic, please, just outside of Boston.”

  Chapter Eleven

  LACY PUSHED THROUGH the glass doors of World Geographic Monday morning with a heavy heart. She hadn’t returned Dane’s calls, or his texts, and she’d purposely not checked her emails. The last thing she wanted to do was hear his voice or read a message that would soften her resolve. She knew it would send her heart into a tailspin. She hadn’t realized how hurt she really was that he hadn’t come to see her for all those months, and when he’d looked her in the eye and confirmed he’d been with other women, it had thrown her for a loop. Even so, she’d already rationalized that worry away—they hadn’t committed to a monogamous relationship. She had no right to hold him to one, even if it hurt to accept. She held on to that rationalization and let out a loud breath. The whole mess had become too confusing, and Lacy felt like her head was spinning. Being apart is for the best. No matter how much I ache to see him. Touch him. Kiss him. Oh, shut up! She couldn’t be a burden on his career. A setback. He deserved to have a relationship with someone who loved the sea and everything associated with his job as much as he did.

  The previous evening had passed as if in slow motion. Everything reminded her of Dane. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face, his dark eyes pleading with her to stop being angry and talk to him. She’d surfed the Internet for a while, looking at People.com and then CNN, and she’d read an article about a great white sighting off Cape Cod. There was a reference to the Brave Foundation being summoned to tag and track the sharks, and no matter how hard she tried not to click that link, she couldn’t stop herself. She’d spent hours watching shark videos and reading about the different shark species. The more she’d read, the more interested she’d become. With her head swirling with facts about sharks, she’d finally turned off her computer and collapsed into a fitful night’s sleep.

  At least here at the office she’d have projects to work on and clients to call. Her brain would be occupied. Too occupied to think of Dane.

  She turned on her computer, and their internal message system dinged. She had a message from Fred, her boss. New client meeting. Nonprofit, your bailiwick. Nine a.m., my office. Great. Something to look forward to.

  The second message was from Danica. Ugh. She’d dodged Danica’s calls last night, too. She hadn’t wanted to be consoled, and now guilt pressed in on her. She picked up her cell and called her sister.

  “Lacy, are you okay?” Danica asked.

  “I’m fine. I just needed to be alone.”

  “You’re sure you’re okay? What happened? I looked for you Sunday morning, but you had already checked out. Savannah said she heard there was trouble between you and Dane.”

  Lacy rolled her eyes in an effort to keep her tears at bay. “Is nothing sacred?” she managed.

  “Savannah cares.”

  “Yeah? Well, she shouldn’t,” Lacy said.

  “Oh, Lacy. You sound so sad. What happened?” Danica asked.

  She didn’t want to argue with Danica. She pushed the confusion she was feeling onto Danica, thinking she would agree and help her to remain strong. “Let’s just say I realized that waiting so long to be with someone isn’t right. I should have seen the red flags before. You were a therapist; you should have warned me.” Lacy picked up a tissue and wiped her eyes.

  “Really? So it’s my fault? I thought you were okay with not seeing him for that long. You were crazy busy, too, and you said you understood. What happened?” Danica asked.

  Lacy didn’t answer. Lying was not her strong suit.

  “Lacy?” When Lacy didn’t respond, Danica said, “Lacy, listen, honey. If this is really about the panic attack, you can work through that. Your panic attack could have been caused by all of it—your heightened emotions for Dane, months of building up expectations and turning all that lust into real intimacy, and worrying about if you were afraid of sharks. Anxiety is a funny thing, Lace. It can be really powerful and fed by so many different things.”

  Lacy just wanted the whole mess to go away. She already loved Dane too much to be the woman he always had to worry about. Dane had been so attentive to her needs. She knew he would be the same way forever if that’s what it took, and she couldn’t let him mollycoddle her because of her stupid fears. He deserved to be with a normal person who wasn’t afraid of the very things he worked so hard to save. It hurt to think about him, much less talk about him. She’d made up her mind already, and this time she was sticking to her guns, even if it meant leading her sister down a wayward path that she didn’t really care all that much about…or maybe she did. She didn’t really know, and it hurt too much to think about it, but it would definitely shut down Danica’s attempts to push her toward Dane.

  “He has women all over the world,” Lacy said.

  “So?”

  “So? Danica!” Lacy lowered her voice. “What do you mean, so?” Darn it. I thought that would shut you up.

  “What a person does before they meet the person they want to be with has no bearing on who they are going to be after they meet him…or her,” Danica said. “Look at Blake.”

  “That’s different,” Lacy said. Why is she so set on this relationship?

  “Really? How?” Danica asked.

  It was no secret that before meeting Danica, Blake was a player of the worst kind. He’d have sex with any woman who wanted him.

  “Most men aren’t capable of change,” Lacy said.

  “Not true,” Danica retorted.

  “They have to want to change.”

  “True, and does he?” Danica asked.

  “How should I know?” Lacy asked.

  “Do you want him to?” Danica asked.

  “I don’t know.” Lacy closed her eyes against another wave of tears. “None of it matters. I can’t be around a guy who tags sharks if I’m afraid of sharks.”

  “It’s a phobia, and you have no idea how bad it is. You’ve had one panic attack, and you had all those other anxiety-provoking issues rising at the same time. Once you and Dane spend more time together, your anxiety level might dissipate, and spending time learning about sharks and inundating yourself with them could lead you to conquer whatever fear is left. You can work through that if you want to, and it probably wouldn’t be too difficult.”

  Silence filled the airwaves.

  “What’s your plan?” Danica asked.

  “Forget I ever met him and go on with my life,” Lacy said.

  “And how did that go last night?”

  Lacy looked down at her lap, remembering the box of tissues she’d gone through and the pint of ice cream she’d eaten.

  “Lacy?” Danica said.

  “Hmm?”

  “Before you close that door, why don’t you talk to him? It doesn’t mean you have to be with him, but just clear the air. You waited more than a year. That’s a long time to wait just to turn your back because of a panic attack. I can help you with that, too,” Danica said.

  “But doesn’t it mean that he doesn’t really like me, or that he’s a user or something, because he didn’t come see me in all that time? Think about it, Dan. Would you put up with that?” Lacy asked. She’d gone over their situation in her mind for hours the evening before. Every time he had free time, she’d said she
didn’t, because of that stupid promotion she’d wanted so badly, but the truth was, she’d been just as afraid as he’d said that he had been.

  Danica sighed. “I don’t know. You were so happy over that period of time. You weren’t pining away for a man who was treating you badly. He called and texted you every time he said he would. He Skyped and FaceTimed, and he sent emails and cards. It’s not like you were being neglected.”

  “You’re not making this any easier,” Lacy said. Her office phone rang. “Hold on.” She lowered her cell to her lap and answered her office phone. “Lacy Snow.”

  “Our new client is here. Can you join me in my office now instead of nine?” Fred asked.

  “Of course. Give me two minutes,” Lacy said.

  “Sure.”

  She hung up the phone and returned to the conversation with Danica. “I have to go. My boss wants me to meet a new client.”

  “Okay, but listen, Lacy. Maybe you shouldn’t make any snap judgments about Dane. I can help you work through your phobia, and you can figure things out with him slowly,” Danica said.

  “I don’t know. I think it’s for the best if we’re not together. I’ve been ignoring his calls and texts, which, let me tell you, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so used to hearing his voice almost every night that last night was torture. I wasn’t ever lonely before meeting him and now, after talking to him almost every night and then seeing him again”—and touching him—“I’m so lonely. How can I be lonely after seeing him for only one weekend?” Lacy groaned. “I have to believe it’s for the best.” And I’ll just live with a broken heart forever.

  DANE SAT ACROSS from Fred Wright, managing director of World Geographic, focusing on the ruse he’d initiated. Lacy could avoid his phone calls and his messages, but she couldn’t avoid a man who was standing before her. His feelings for her were too strong to let them fall away like all those months of getting to know each other—of falling for each other—meant nothing. In many ways, those long-distance conversations had been more intimate than the night they’d spent together in Wellfleet. They meant everything to him, and the changes he was seeing in himself were all because of Lacy. There was no way he’d just let her walk away. He had to at least try to get her to recognize and accept the man he wanted to be, and part of who he wanted to be was the man to help her with her fear of sharks.